Monday, March 10, 2008 @11:31 PM
Sometimes we laugh not out of good cheer, but to avoid or absolve ourselves of a deeper pain“He seems to have fallen asleep. The past month has been especially gruelling on him.”
“He must be exhausted after suffering the brunt of it. The situation appears to be discouraging. Do you think she will ever wake up?”
“It pains me to say this but I doubt so. There might still be a chance though.”
They had no idea that I was eavesdropping on their conversation. If they had observed carefully, I was lying at an awkward angle that was almost impossible for me to sleep in. With my eyes closed, my heart burned in anger at their lack of faith in my sister’s willpower to survive. However, it had been a month without improvement, and my previous feelings of resentment wilted into despair. To avoid talking to them, I continued to pretend to be sleeping.
“It’s unbelievable. She’s still so young with such incredible potential and years of impressive achievements ahead of her. She’s his only family left and he loved her so. Now she’s gone, it’s a devastating blow –”
Now she’s gone. There was a pause and a tense, nervous silence reigned around the room. I knew they had realised their inadvertent mistake, speaking of her as if she was already dead. It was difficult for me not to feel bitter and grief-stricken at the same time. It seemed as though nothing could cut through this thin ice when...
“Hey, do you remember the ridiculous incidents she got herself into when she was young, the silly things she did, even when she was old enough to stop being so childish?”
Some of the anguish I felt before receded a little as I recalled how endearing my sister could be at times. I could imagine their smiles too as they chuckled in amusement. However, it felt like the pseudo laughter only served as an impetus to move on from the tense atmosphere before. There was no genuine reason for any form of happiness.
“Did you know that after she received her outstanding A-Level results, she was actually thrilled to the extent of hugging every person on sight? When she realised her actions, her face turned red as a tomato.”
I heard their laughter and a small bout of laughter rose within me as memories of that incident returned to us. The pain of seeing my sister on the hospital bed disappeared a little. I had been proud of her that day and it was comforting to relive the event again.
“Another time, during her 21st birthday, we organized a surprise birthday bash to celebrate the occasion. When she entered the house, we flicked on the lights and smashed the birthday cake into her face. Her facial expressions were hilarious. She didn’t know whether to be shocked, furious or delighted. Eventually, she resorted to chasing after everyone in the house.”
Loud laughter resonated off the four walls. I controlled the urge to laugh along with them. To be able to experience those moments once more and laugh at the adorable aspects of it was refreshing. The laughter gradually died down but the atmosphere in the room did not return to one of apprehension. I realised, over the past ten minutes, that although my sister might never return to my side, memories of her would still stay with me.
♥ you and i both loved