Who doesn't want to be Mike! Mike's wishes, Carlsberg. Tsk.

Kings and Queens by 30 seconds to mars sounds appetizingly good. Enticing, really. There's a chorus right at the end of the song! (irrelevant fact) I just realised the album Reality Killed The Video Star is not different from a small children's book. Haha. Except the pages are pictures of Robbie Williams and lyrics of his songs. And the album has a nice smell that I believe will never go away. No one knows I didn't fork out a single cent for the album!

Paramore. You know, Brand New Eyes is probably the only album where I like every single song in it. It's like soft rock to me. And I love the lyrics as well, incredibly witty. That's why I'm pumped that the band will be here in town! March 7. Okay I just checked, it's a perfect Sunday. But it depends on what March 8 in the calendar of my JC life has in store for me. And it's about 2 months after Green Day. Will I be able to spend the cash? I think, I know both will be unbelievable live.

The first weeks of December has "strengthened my resolve" to have a daughter in the (long) future. Hmm, oh well.

It's the end of a decade. So bloody fast! I vaguely recall a tiny wide-eyed version of me staring at the television screen, as celebrations to usher in the new millenium went on. I've been looking at the charts documenting the top songs of the decade. (Crazy In Love and Hey Ya appear everywhere!) Which got me thinking about my dedication to radio, or 987. The first time I truly listened to a song was in Sec 1, which occured simultaneously with the first time I tuned in to 987. I don't remember the details, but it just clicked. Clicks don't happen often. You try different things, but not many can sustain you. 987 made me silly, as some might know! At times, I've been really disappointed. It might not be a big deal, but 987 and music basically carried, accompanied me through secondary school.

I would be at Zouk Out, or Balaclava. Would I?

I turned 16 yesterday. What just happened? As Wen Zheng says, we're growing old! Less and less slack time, JC and beyond. Things will change drastically. I can't possibly imagine! Maybe someone will sport a moustache and own a motorcycle. Maybe I will see him/her nominated for Babe of the Year and go "omg!". Maybe I will hug you. All I can say is, watch out, 2010.

I'm watching Avatar tomorrow, and trust me, I'm looking forward to it.

♥ you and i both loved

This feels private. I love you, so love me back!

Haha today is the day. Today, December 15th! And I'm telling you I turn 16. It's like any other day except for some huge differences. Firstly, there's this special feeling in my heart which emerged when the clock struck 12 and remains till now. It's the giddiness of knowing that, however selfish it sounds, today is December 15th, and it's supposed to hold a certain significance. Every birthday wish has elevated that special feeling in varying degrees. I don't want today to end. I might not have a cake and candles or do anything out of the ordinary to celebrate, but I could sit down all day and still not want today to disappear into a fading memory. Thank you kt for splurging on me despite my insistence otherwise!

Me sincerely thanks everyone who put in the extra effort to type an sms, facebook post or tweet! (Especially sms and tweets) Or call, in the case of Charles. Haha. I will name everyone. You know why? Because I want to. =)

Twitter - The 3 musketeers! (Haha I wonder how they will react to that) finaljoyride, lystargirl and whereismyjelly. =D

Facebook - Chongmin, Jim, Lionel, Jack, Kwun Tong, Lo Yee, Michael, Kailun, Richard, Darren, Rayden, Ying Feng, Ervin, Jasdeep, Lock Leong, Yuet Cheong, Han Bin, Yu Da, Bob, Haozhi, Krystal, Ming Chan, Suwe, Ting Wei and Jun Wei. =D

Sms - Ysabel, Samantha, Kwun Tong, Kevin, Debra, Wei Xuan, Delwyn, Guan Lin, Darren, Tabitha and Wen Zheng. =D

Haha Daryl too. Dhivian for his advance birthday wish, Dad and Uncle Chris.

And of course, the lovely e-mail from Wan Jing who took time off her shopping adventure in Hong Kong to (possibly grab a computer)!

Caps is kinda the "in" thing right now.

At the same time, while I'm being stuck in my own world, I realise I don't have the ability to bring everyone else into my own world.

♥ you and i both loved

I'm nice, I really am, that's what I tell myself. It's not wise to doubt, I say, which means that there are unwise people around here.

I'm tired and getting ready for bed, but there is this part of my mind which refuses to allow me to sleep yet. "After all it's still early, right?" That part of my mind starts to lie blatantly. So I drag my ipod or my hp + earphones to bed. The lies continue! "A couple of songs will do." No, it will not do! Because I wake up hours later (or even worse, the next morning), turn to my side, stare at my ipod/hp next to me, and wail in despair. Okay no wailing! But internal frustration and anxiety at heavy exposure to radiation and shortened life expectancy. Hmm, come night time, it becomes a cycle all over again.

At this juncture, I'm extremely delighted and relieved that autosave was invented!

♥ you and i both loved

You know, there are times when you just don't plan and everything that enters your mind simply comes rushing out. Maybe it's happening now. It's approaching 3 in the morning and I'm still up because of the match. Not to mention trying to make as little noise as possible, so certain people can continue sleeping and not wake up. It's going to be the same story tomorrow as well, but earlier. I can always hope for what I want, but things don't really turn out that way sometimes.

When I was young and went overseas for holidays, I wouldn't want to come back. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I would be looking forward to an extended period of time in a foreign country with different people, strangers whom I don't know and will never know unless fate intervenes. You might think, "Hey, what if I moved here? Look at a whole new experience." I thought that the feeling would grow stronger while I grew older, but, it didn't. It's not easy, moving, starting anew, or struggling desperately to erase past memories. Maybe I'm rooted to home. Maybe I feel disconnected. The fact remains, on the other side of the coin, being able to escape for a week, I relish it.

Look at the mountain ranges and huge white patches of snow. They may be beautiful, actually, they are beautiful. When you travel across a place where at intervals, everything blends perfectly together, it's a stunning sight. Living there is another story, it's terribly difficult. Nothing is predictable, not even the cold. You wonder how they survive, but people thrive under the most extreme circumstances.

Spending consecutive days with people, exchanging (or sneaking) looks constantly. Though how many times do they think of you? After 8 the cute factor and ability to attract attention drops.

The attack breaks down when the ball doesn't zip fast enough.

I have a question. Is it possible that decent guys smoke?

♥ you and i both loved

Damn blogger

It's only because of my overwhelming feelings pushing me to type this post, nevertheless blogger should do well to watch out.

I know I can't afford to mismanage my time.
I know I have to study plants.
Somehow, I also know what the term "despicable" means.

Waiting until someone is on leave before informing her to literally pack her bags is indeed downright decent.
How many people go to work looking forward to the simple pleasure of the job they enjoy, yet not knowing it's their last day?
I certainly worry for your sense of hearing.
Please allow your ears to spend more time under the running water tap.
At least put some effort into inventing plausible reasons that can cover your blatant deceits and desperate excuses.
She connects with many people on different levels
Simply take a look at her legion of supporters
Threatened by her growing popularity?

I thought every single person was part of the family
Does the family not feel the loss?
Are they restricted from expressing how they feel
Or totally ignorant because it's not them?

Because I certainly feel the loss, the sense of emptiness. When something as significant as this gradually becomes a fixture in my life, I can't imagine it being taken away. Reality is not harsh, just unreasonable.

Something is missing, and will be missing forever. Not only have you lost her, you have lost a certain trust of many people. Yes, you have ironically allowed us to slip away when you wanted us nearer, don't you understand?

It will never be the same again. I always looked forward to the start of a new day because it felt like an out of the world experience, just you keeping me company. The phrase "forgetting all my troubles" fit perfectly during those three hours. Time would arrive at a standstill, only then could I truly feel at ease. Saying "you will be missed" is an understatement. Behind your bubbly voice lies your cheerful disposition, your strong personality clear as day. That one call embarrassed the shit out of me, but I will more likely bring the memory to my grave than not remember it. Thank you and good luck, sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

♥ you and i both loved

The time of a new age goes around the loop
The love burns silently, occasionally flaming, but most of all
It stays strong, persistent and never fading
The way you would save her
The sacrifice you would make to be the wall
Between her and everything else
You would know, wouldn't you?
Turning around the world, always here, but never there
The understanding you would share
The time of an old age repeats its journey down the waterfall

We seem far apart, far far away from the throes of physical comfort
But the presence of this delicate string binds us
Drawing our thoughts, emotions and our hearts close
You look at me, and you look away, but in that one moment
The look told me everything I needed, desired but feared to know
Pain, longing, despair, hope, and a glimmer of which
I knew this would not be over
When would the pain ebb away?
When would I wake up every morning but not feel the emptiness within me and beside me?
When would the world, only, revolve around the two of us once more?
No one comprehends this unbreakable connection
I for one am not sure what, this, is as well
What you and I know is that when this started, there would never be an end
Depth into eternity, please
Every step away brings me closer towards you
One glance, one touch, one breath, one pure smile
What we have is not a trivial, insignificant concept of love
We are afraid
But not with your flawless face etched in my mind
This bond, a shimmering of lights, encapsulates us
Stay still, and never move

♥ you and i both loved

Paris, wearing a black dress with white trim, turned a small patent-leather purse over in her hands as other family members spoke. And then a dramatic hush fell over the crowd as family members whispered that the little girl, whose lifetime of public exposure amounted to a small handful of paparazzi photographs, Paris-Michael wanted to say something.

She furtively emerged from the tight circle of family members, who rushed to lower the microphone to her level. And with her uncle Randy on one side and aunt Janet on the other, Jackson's little girl stood center stage.

'I just wanted to say,' Paris began weakly.

'Speak up, sweetheart, speak up,' Janet encouraged, sweeping the girl's long hair back. 'And get close.' Paris put one hand behind her neck, another on the microphone, and began again.

'Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine,' she said, her tiny voice cracking.

Rebbie and Marlon Jackson moved in closer to comfort their niece.

She shut her eyes tight.

Then she wrapped her hands - little fingernails painted red - around the microphone and fought back tears as she continued: 'And I just wanted to say I love him - so much.' She collapsed in tears into her aunt's arms.

'It's okay, baby. It's okay,' Janet Jackson said as she held Paris close. Prince joined in on the hug.

And all at once, Jackson wasn't the larger-than-life King of Pop, or Wacko Jacko the tabloid freak. He was a doting father who had left three adoring young children behind.

He was 'Daddy.' -- AP

♥ you and i both loved

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